That deep soul rest

I know I say this all the time, but I am tired, and I mean truly tired.  

I came to the realization during my nighttime prayers, that I have really stretched myself too thin. 

Between working all the jobs, tending to household chores, parenting and everything else, I really just have too much on my plate. 

Tuesday, Halloween evening, I got off of working job number one, went to pick up the kids and came home to work on jobs two and three of the day.  

The girls quickly finish their homework and I absentmindedly check it out in between glancing at my computer screen. After homework, they are in full blown Halloween mode and ready to put on their costumes. I let them. Now they are ready to leave, but I still have about 30 minutes of work to get finished up with.  

I try my best to get as much work as I possibly can during the time I am at the office, so that I do not have to sit glued to a computer screen after I get home. In a perfect world, that would happen; work would get finished at work and the time after I get the girls home would solely be dedicated to them.  

But there just are not enough hours in the day. More than not, one day’s work slowly infiltrates the next day as I sit on my computer into the wee hours of the morning.  

Even if I did get an adequate amount of sleep, I still do not think it would be enough to solve the worn-out-ness that I feel.  

Weary may be a better word. 

I need to find rest for my body and mind – yes, but I also need rest for my soul. Desperately. I need that deep soul rest that just cannot be found by getting a full 8 hours of sleep per night. Is that the recommended amount of sleep? I am not even sure anymore.  

My number one not so great quality is thinking I can bear all of these burdens and make it out okay on my own. 

Wrong. I need Jesus.  

The night that I was feeling the most weighed down and praying out to God, I was quickly reminded that He never intended for me to carry all of this on my own.  

Matthew 11:28-30 says, “Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.” 

Whew. That was easy. I felt immediately lighter. Come to Jesus. That’s it.  

I have the tendency to come to Jesus putting on an act like I have my life together, like He doesn’t know any better. But through my prayer time that night, I realized He wants all the messy stuff – the overwhelming aspects of life, the wandering mind, anxiousness and weariness.  

He wants all of my burdens, so that he can exchange them for the light yoke that he has to offer. 

He is not going to offer ways that you could establish a better work-home balance. He isn’t going to recommend a book on how to do it all. He isn’t going to give me a list to check-off throughout the day to ensure that I am staying on track.  

All He is going to do is take my burdens and give me rest.  

God is the only self-sufficient being. As humans, we are dependent. We are dependent on God. We were created to be dependent. Thinking you can do it all on your own, is a lie straight from Satan.  

In his book, New Morning Mercies, author Paul Tripp says, “We need to be taught, encouraged, warned, strengthened, forgiven, healed, restored, counseled, loved, rebuked, and delivered – all things we cannot provide for ourselves.” 

So, it will not matter how organized you are, how efficient you are, how productive or determined you are.  

The only solution is Jesus. 

I choose to exchange my sinful self-sufficiency for His all-sufficient grace.

(Paige Nash is a weary wife, mother, publisher of Bienville Parish Journal and Claiborne Parish Journal and a digital journalist for Webster Parish Journal.)

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